Viruses I suffer from:
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Read ‘God’s Debris’ by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Try MacOS X. It’s based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn’t suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
Free BSD (110%)
The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Use a mouse with more than one button.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves. [repeat] –
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Brand Names (85%)
Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good.
Computer Games (60%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Conspiracy Theory (85%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary.
Have you been virus scanned today?