i suffer from…

Viruses I suffer from:

Linux (100%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
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Junkfood (100%)
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
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Religion (100%)
Read ‘God’s Debris’ by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
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Windows (100%)
Try MacOS X. It’s based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn’t suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
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Free BSD (110%)
The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
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Politics (160%)
Stop caring!
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Hippyism (105%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
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Environmentalism (103%)
Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
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Macintosh (100%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.
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Viruses you might suffer from:

Pokemon (60%)
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
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USA (70%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves. [repeat] –
Industrial (70%)
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
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Japan (60%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
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vi (90%)
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
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Brand Names (85%)
Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good.
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Computer Games (60%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
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Conspiracy Theory (85%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary.

Have you been virus scanned today?